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Posts Tagged ‘social’


.f.r.i.e.n.d.s.
Originally uploaded by .krish.Tipirneni.

Desi inquisitiveness is a complex phenomenon, ridden with emotional highs and lows,replete with dramatic twists and turns. Peskiness, curiosity and an unbound spirit of inquiry go a long way in trying to satiate this inquisitiveness.

Not that desis mean to be overly enthusiastic with their inquiries; it is just that their well-intentioned selves care so much for you , that the proverbial nose-poke into your business turns out to be as feeble as having a feisty festoon.

The inquisitiveness also happens to be selfless, with the inferred information and the carefully deduced conclusions shared amongst fellow pursuers of knowledge. The experienced experts throw in their own enlightened judgments into the mix and the purists apply a liberal dose of “Indian traditions” on top of those judgments.

In the factors that inform these conclusions; education, caste, achievements, job, salaray levels, relationship status and religion figure prominently. The connections drawn between these are bizarre yet probable; flippant,yet elaborate. Sample this : “How can someone who only has a bachelors degree, not be from a lower caste and have a white girlfriend, when they just got laid-off ?!!?”

If you are subjected to desi inquisitiveness, you are walking on a fine line between desi adulation and desi abhorrence and there is no real recipe to successfully negotiate through it. Conform or take a stance. In case you decide on the latter, don’t reveal it all at once in the interest of keeping everyone hooked. Desis like to play it like a video game – just enough challenge and just enough reward, at all times.

If all else fails, you can always huddle with other desis. On the other hand, if you want to kick-off your own career in the curiosity business, you just need find the flame within you and start bartering information.

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#41 Amway

The business acumen of your average desi is unquestionable, but there are only a chosen few of them who have seen the real path to enlightenment. And these desis will leave no stone unturned in their efforts to emancipate you from a life of ignorance and ostensible poverty.

That path is Amway and its many other smarter- than- thou variants which will literally make you sell magic cool-aid on your way to making astronomical fortunes and enabling you to win the next marathon you compete in (just a friendly side effect).

The products are so potent that their effects instill an overwhelming amount of self-belief into an otherwise “god- fearing, regular, middle-class” desi. Almost overflowing with this unshakeable confidence, these desis courageously masquerade around in shopping malls, restaurants, parking lots and airports alike in a determined effort to accost people who are perfect strangers to them, but look like wrethched souls who would want to make an extra buck or two in their lives. Sure! Who doesn’t? All you need, is “an open mind” ūüėČ

The enlightened ones are curious about your interests and hobbies, your planned retirement age and your phone number, amongst other things. They might have also seen you in college or their wives might need ” your help” on a flight. And they are only too eager to share their details with you since they’ve been chatting with you for an entire minute now!

Opportunity knocks your door several bazzillion times until the door finally caves in or of course you agree to attend an elightenment session with their established guru, who will draw elaborate diagrams and make grand presentations on how you can achieve ultimate financial freedom in your lives. Why work so hard, when all you have to do is sell stuff to people who will in turn be elevated to the oh-so-sought-after “early retirement” status ?

The fairy tale lives of these fortunate desis are full of happiness and success derived from selling products for the betterment of humanity. Hang out at the Macy’s nearest to you this weekend and you could be a chosen one too, all you have to then do is…BELIEVE. No wait, sell actually ūüėõ

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Thank You
Originally uploaded by 2Shutter

Come, come!! Read this , read this!

Get the drift? Repeating a word or a phrase is the most preferred way of stressing importance , being polite, being assertive, passionately agreeing, requesting a favor and expressing a host of other ‘semi-sentimental,semi-coaxing’ , confoundingly warm desi pleas.

Successive¬†use¬†of a word¬†comes up in all kinds of social situations including ordering at restaurants (“bring two,two”), welcoming guests (“sit,sit”), appreciating someone or something (“good,good”) and any other circumstance under which a desi needs to be nice.

Generally, the¬†simpler the word or phrase¬†is, the greater its chances of getting successively repeated.¬†For instance, a word like ‘education’ is disqualified due its length, but a ‘study,study’ or ‘work,work’¬†could easily be used as an alternative. Also, if the desi is at a loss of words and/or wants a conversation filler, #35 might come in handy.

You can easily verify #35’s existence by saying something nice /wishing a desi .Expect a beaming desi and a profuse expression of gratitude,”Thank you, thank you!”

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#34 Being Busy

This is undoubtedly a desis’ favorite passtime. Being busy keeps a desi floating high-up on the social value chain while giving them ample reasons for being late.

A desi will leave no stone unturned in announcing his/her busy status to their immediate friends. Voice mails are an all time favorite way of expressing busyness (iPhone wielding desis marvel at its impeccable ability to route calls to their voice mail). Other mechanisms of avoiding you include remaining invisible on chats, replying to emails a fortnight after or just meeting you in person and telling you that they are busy.

Weekends are when a desi hoops through the various social circles he belongs to talking about how busy they are. Desi vacations are always at the default location (India :P) and there too the desi visits one set of relatives after another in rapid succession, their choc-a-block itinerary matched faintly by itineraries of national ambassadors.

Busyness is rampant among desis and exists even if YOU invite THEM over for food. Busy desis are also sometimes secretive and closely guard that with which they are busy.

If you are not in the immediate friend circle of a particular desi, then this post may not be applicable to you, because that desi will invariably have time for you.

PS: #34 also accounts for the frequency of entries on this blog ūüėČ

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Don’t get too carried away with the title of this entry thinking that if you know a desis’ name you can easily track them on Orkut. Two major problems lie : a. Their name on Orkut is actually “HAPPY…….HOLI EVERYONE” or b. There are hundreds of other desis or communities with that name.

At the core of orkut is a vast trading network of testimonials and “fanhood”.Since desis excel at trade of any kind, they find orkut the perfect way to hone their trading and bargaining skills further.

The “Personal” profile brings out the best in desi humor with guys openly proclaiming “chests” as their best feature(!!!!) and “india versus australia” as their ideal match. Also note the subtle touch with the claim that “in my bedroom you will find” a “bed”.

Desi women usually have warning signs like “don’t scrap if you don’t know me”…..(you cheap, perverted, desi voyeur dude….). Married desi women usually put up a picture with their husbands as their profile picture or better yet of them with their babies . Single desi women are usually “here for” “friends” and have some warning sign in addition (like locked pictures). Single desi men (the suspected voyeur community) usually play it cool either with humor or with forthrightness or a combination thereof (“can’t live without:” – “food, air,water,sleep….& mom”…a dash of emotion goes a long way). If they are a rich testimonial trader, they play it ultra cool by just having the testimonials on their profile (also applicable to women).

Desi scraps on Orkut can be multilingual, single lettered, smiley based or even have some animation for that special touch. Not replying to scraps is probably the most hurtful thing you could do to a desi. In such cases, desis will not hesitate to email or call you reminding you to reply to their scrap. The only other possibly more hurtful act you can do is not join the orkut community started in their honor.

Given the desi population, it is logical for desis to believe that desis rule Orkut ( a potential source of national pride of course). But there’s a shocking twist to this tale for desis because they’ve discovered that there are more Brazilian users on Orkut than desis. This fact becomes even more disturbing when desis realize that they don’t have any of the Brazilians in their network.

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