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Posts Tagged ‘behavior’


.f.r.i.e.n.d.s.
Originally uploaded by .krish.Tipirneni.

Desi inquisitiveness is a complex phenomenon, ridden with emotional highs and lows,replete with dramatic twists and turns. Peskiness, curiosity and an unbound spirit of inquiry go a long way in trying to satiate this inquisitiveness.

Not that desis mean to be overly enthusiastic with their inquiries; it is just that their well-intentioned selves care so much for you , that the proverbial nose-poke into your business turns out to be as feeble as having a feisty festoon.

The inquisitiveness also happens to be selfless, with the inferred information and the carefully deduced conclusions shared amongst fellow pursuers of knowledge. The experienced experts throw in their own enlightened judgments into the mix and the purists apply a liberal dose of “Indian traditions” on top of those judgments.

In the factors that inform these conclusions; education, caste, achievements, job, salaray levels, relationship status and religion figure prominently. The connections drawn between these are bizarre yet probable; flippant,yet elaborate. Sample this : “How can someone who only has a bachelors degree, not be from a lower caste and have a white girlfriend, when they just got laid-off ?!!?”

If you are subjected to desi inquisitiveness, you are walking on a fine line between desi adulation and desi abhorrence and there is no real recipe to successfully negotiate through it. Conform or take a stance. In case you decide on the latter, don’t reveal it all at once in the interest of keeping everyone hooked. Desis like to play it like a video game – just enough challenge and just enough reward, at all times.

If all else fails, you can always huddle with other desis. On the other hand, if you want to kick-off your own career in the curiosity business, you just need find the flame within you and start bartering information.

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#34 Being Busy

This is undoubtedly a desis’ favorite passtime. Being busy keeps a desi floating high-up on the social value chain while giving them ample reasons for being late.

A desi will leave no stone unturned in announcing his/her busy status to their immediate friends. Voice mails are an all time favorite way of expressing busyness (iPhone wielding desis marvel at its impeccable ability to route calls to their voice mail). Other mechanisms of avoiding you include remaining invisible on chats, replying to emails a fortnight after or just meeting you in person and telling you that they are busy.

Weekends are when a desi hoops through the various social circles he belongs to talking about how busy they are. Desi vacations are always at the default location (India :P) and there too the desi visits one set of relatives after another in rapid succession, their choc-a-block itinerary matched faintly by itineraries of national ambassadors.

Busyness is rampant among desis and exists even if YOU invite THEM over for food. Busy desis are also sometimes secretive and closely guard that with which they are busy.

If you are not in the immediate friend circle of a particular desi, then this post may not be applicable to you, because that desi will invariably have time for you.

PS: #34 also accounts for the frequency of entries on this blog 😉

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#30 Parents

K3G

Its all about loving your parents - Karan Johar

If you believe Russel Peters’ version of how Indian parents beat their kids, you are bound to be misled. No amount of those beatings will deter a desi from arranging his parents pilgrimage to Niagra Falls some day when he has fully recovered from the trauma of it all (or not).

The desi kid’s sense of duty toward his parents is the complete antithesis of what a white kid goes through /feels . While the white kid will one day grow up and leave his parents house, the desi kid will one day grow up, have his own house and get his parents to live with him ( and get free babysitters). In other cases, he’ll just grow up in his parents house.

Disagreeing with their parents is completely out of question. For instance, a desi will never date because his parents might take objection. The only way a desi will date is if his parents set him up on one.

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Don’t get too carried away with the title of this entry thinking that if you know a desis’ name you can easily track them on Orkut. Two major problems lie : a. Their name on Orkut is actually “HAPPY…….HOLI EVERYONE” or b. There are hundreds of other desis or communities with that name.

At the core of orkut is a vast trading network of testimonials and “fanhood”.Since desis excel at trade of any kind, they find orkut the perfect way to hone their trading and bargaining skills further.

The “Personal” profile brings out the best in desi humor with guys openly proclaiming “chests” as their best feature(!!!!) and “india versus australia” as their ideal match. Also note the subtle touch with the claim that “in my bedroom you will find” a “bed”.

Desi women usually have warning signs like “don’t scrap if you don’t know me”…..(you cheap, perverted, desi voyeur dude….). Married desi women usually put up a picture with their husbands as their profile picture or better yet of them with their babies . Single desi women are usually “here for” “friends” and have some warning sign in addition (like locked pictures). Single desi men (the suspected voyeur community) usually play it cool either with humor or with forthrightness or a combination thereof (“can’t live without:” – “food, air,water,sleep….& mom”…a dash of emotion goes a long way). If they are a rich testimonial trader, they play it ultra cool by just having the testimonials on their profile (also applicable to women).

Desi scraps on Orkut can be multilingual, single lettered, smiley based or even have some animation for that special touch. Not replying to scraps is probably the most hurtful thing you could do to a desi. In such cases, desis will not hesitate to email or call you reminding you to reply to their scrap. The only other possibly more hurtful act you can do is not join the orkut community started in their honor.

Given the desi population, it is logical for desis to believe that desis rule Orkut ( a potential source of national pride of course). But there’s a shocking twist to this tale for desis because they’ve discovered that there are more Brazilian users on Orkut than desis. This fact becomes even more disturbing when desis realize that they don’t have any of the Brazilians in their network.

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all eyes on me
Originally uploaded by kaboiano

You dont have to weigh 750 pounds, or be 7 feet tall, or an albino, or stunnigly gorgeous or a celebrity for that matter. You dont have to belong to a different race, class, color, creed, tribe, breed etc etc.

You dont have to be different in any obviously distinguishable way. You can be as normal and as average as possible, but you will still be promised a stare from a desi.

Desis love staring. Not just the casual one, but the more intense one. Any white person who visited India can tell you about the diffificulty of picking their favorite stare from the 1000 odd stares they got. It helps to know that these stares in India mostly mean nothing except that you are being their reality television for the day.

Desis brought along this habit of staring to their emigrant nations, but with an interesting twist. Instead of staring at white folk, they stare at each other, for a very good reason.

Desis size up each other with intense staring. They try to determine if the person is a Tamil, Telugu, Bengali, Punjabi or an ABCD. They try to guess whom the person works for. They look for every possible clue like company names (in 8pt font) on their T-shirts to extremes like eavesdropping into phone conversations in public spaces, even if it means a language they dont speak (the rationale being, they are bound to be some English words and it is not too hard to reconstruct the rest of the sentence).


iGoogle

Originally uploaded by kiranraj

Desis add another interesting dimension to staring. By some divine intervention (sometimes literally, like in temples), they find every third desi familiar and keep wondering where they might know him/her from. At that point, the conversation with the sidekick-desi turns into how that person resembles someone whom the sidekick doesnt know.

They might even go upto the person (who is being stared at) and tell them how he or she resembles his third cousin’s distant friend’s close relative now living in Ghaziabad and working for ICICI Bank. “Really! I never knew that. I am glad I do now”, as a reply will not only make them happy, but also makes you popular story among his/her friends.

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