For all the vagueness in the choice of words in Indian English, Desis have a well defined set of words to describe the color of skin. Matrimonial sites routinely ask the applicant to mention if his or her skin is “Very fair“, “Fair“, “Wheatish“, “Wheatish-brown” or “dark” ( You are not the only one reminded of likert scale. Also note, only ONE of the five words actually says dark).
Desis love lighter skin complexion. Anything you make/sell realize this love is bound to make you richer. For example, the most compelling feature google has provided in its picture managing software Picasa , is something called ‘fill light’. ‘Fill light’ makes dark pictures look bright and clean, making them ready for uploading to orkut.
Matrimonial websites are another illustration of this huge importance of lighter skin. “A tall dark handsome doctor” is likely to get lesser attention than “A not-so-tall BUT-FAIR non-doctor.” If you are a matrimonial website, you are promised a 10-fold increase in success rates, simply by making pictures of all your members glow brightly (just like the ones on TV ads).
One of the first reactions, desis hear when visiting folks back home, is a value judgment of how “fair” they have “grown” since the last visit. A trip to the US/UK may be deemed to be a huge failure if the visiting desi doesn’t show a significant improvement in his or her skin complexion.
NBC sitcom, The Office immortalizes this love for fair skin in their Diwali episode. Michael Scott walks in with his white girl friend. Kelly’s desi mom compliments that she is very fair. Scott replies, “She is very fair. Very fair and very kind.” So, if you are an unemployed WHITE actor or writer in Los Angeles or New York, know that there is a whole world of desis and Bollywood waiting there out for you !!
Well written! IMO, most desis in their subconsciousness equate fair skin with a superior human species. My take on this:
http://beingandnothing.wordpress.com/2008/03/03/unfair-attitude-toward-a-unfair-dark-complexion/
hehe, i wanted to contribute this article to the blog. I am in India now, and most of the comments are about how dark I became in USA. Ppl are feeling sorry for me that I am not fair anymore. Ridiculous.
I had people question me if I have ever been to the ‘real’ United States (instead of the fake one) where people _turn all fair._
If USA had as much color variation in skin as India does, you would have had a 1000 ‘Fair and lovely’ s in USA. And this greeting that you faced back home will have been there on the American land too.
‘Fariness’ of skin is but one attribute that contributes to physical beauty. And the craving for physical beauty is present equally in all lands.
If there is a land where all people respect and desire truly with all heart, the ‘loveliness’ which is beyond physical beauty, if there is a mind which has no unfair feeling towards the physically more attractive (whatever be the scale used to measure the external beauty – fairness or facial symmetry or physical fitness), I salute it.
So that’s why Indians generally hate black people, hmmm…
Idk actually younger Desi’s identify with blacks more. This is especially with guys, but sometimes with girls too. At least thats what I see in my temple. I know with me I thought I was whiter when I was younger but after being in America for a while I see that black people and latinos are much more accepting of me, so I guess I imitate black culture more. I took that harvard racist test and came out perfectly clean and unracist
also, I don’t know about the matrimony thing. Traditionally we won’t go for pale women if they have white features or if they are blond, although I personally wouldn’t care.
@me Russell Peters is another example of your story!
This website is awesome! I love all the posts I’ve read so far. On the subject of fairness, I have noticed that if you are a girl, your weight will also be discussed in disgusting detail by the not so thin (read: pretty overwieght) women in (particularly) your (husband’s) family. A couple of years ago a friend of mine was undergoing (under duress) the torturous arrangement marriage process in India. One of the profiles that she read asked for (and I kid you not), a sundar, susheel, thin, loves to cook but not eat, loves to watch movies, but only those that hubby dearest wants and loves people (read spending time with the female relatives on the boy’s side)…the list went on… for a guy that was not even 5″ tall. As someone who is Indian, but didn’t grow up in India and is female, I can’t decide if this is more hilarious than offensive…
Fair, hence lovely, no matter how ugly or unpleasant. With all the cancer creams in the market, the proverbial chicken will come home to roost soon enough.
Ah, this site is the encyclopedia of the social creatures described as desis. My family’s (nor my grandparents) are directly from India but my blood is remained pure. I look more white-latino with smaller eyes and yellow skin. I learned how obsessed Indians are with big eyes and light skin…I’ll trip them out by telling them I went to the tanning salon and whatnot…I love love love this website. Please mention how Fobs are equally obsessed with height status as they are with light skin.. *sigh* I’m considered an outside but from the sounds of it(many non-desis friends of mine talk ill about desis without realizing I am one).
It’s the same everywhere in Asia because they link being fair with being more “westernized”.It’s stupid and sick.
These people are just so freakin narrow minded,you’d imagined indians(who aren’t the fairest people in the world) to take offence at this but no such luck.They encourage it.
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Am a desi gal married to a white guy. My hubbys family loves summer activities such as boating, hiking, lakes etc. So, during summer I am very dark and tan. My kids love being in the sun ( i always have a hat on and prefer the shade). Whenever my Indian realtives see me, they are absolutely shocked and comment how “kali” I have become !!!!!!!!
don’t worry about it leah. The advantage is your skin tans well. You’ll be glad when you’re 50 and your skin doesn’t look dry an chapped. One thing I’ve noticed about these so called ‘desis’ is that they only have a specific ideal caucasian archetype, that being of the nordic features. They don’t look at the the white european race as a whole and see that there are plenty of not so good looking men and women despite the fairness of their skin color. Most of these people are fixated. Look, my parents are from India and I think you made a good choice marrying a man of eurpoean ancestry. Believe it or not they’re not as judgemental as the the desis are. I sometimes think that aids should come about and wipe out all indians for this sick trait. anyway good luck with your family.
The author got something not quite right. In my experience, fairness is something not so emphasised on guys. “A tall dark handsome doctor” is likely to get MORE attention than “A not-so-tall BUT-FAIR non-doctor.” For guys, profession and height holds more a bearing to their status and hence, marital desirability.
For girls in the arranged marriage scene of course, a fair skin almost always bags a better husband. But again we are talking of arranged marriages where physical attributes are highly rated, especially for women. Proponents of arranged marriage vs. ‘love marriage’ would tell you how love marriages have the pitfall of being based solely on looks (which is rarely true, since very few people actually marry after the initial physical attraction). But when you look at how an arranged marriage is conducted, you see how materialistic and looks obsessed it is.