Desis, as a community, adore desi-white interracial couples. They are in fact perceived as huge success stories like some sort of compensation for everything that went wrong with desis since the British Raj. If you read between the lines, the blockbuster Lagaan has two prizes for the Indians: the tax-rebates, of course. But more importantly Elizabeth Russel, the commanding officer’s good-hearted sister.
As much as these couples are adored, they are also deeply envied at an individual level. When a desi spots a desi-white couple, he/she runs a comparison algorithm almost instantaneously. The algorithm would start off by comparing visually obvious things like height, build, color of the skin, looks, sense of dressing, hairstyle and then eventually the most important attribute: Accent.
A binary tree is then put in place to determine if he/she is an ABCD or a just-desi. ABCDs will be largely left alone at this point. Just-desis, however, will be put through a series of further tests which include how fake or real the accent is, any clues as to since how long in US, any ‘eclectic’ hobbies like guitar-playing, been to a top school like Stanford or Berkeley, 6-digit salary, or works for a reputed firm and other similar questions that are deeply related to the desi framework of defining personal identity.
A mental spreadsheet is then put in place with two columns, one obviously being him/herself. The outcome of the spreadsheet varies from “This is stupid, I should be able to do it too” to “Looks like an IIT bred and so way out-of-league”.
Hmmn. As a product of one such union, there seems to be more support for the desi-male/white woman than the desi-woman/white man coupling.
But that’s not all that surprising.
Have you guys looked at desi-chinese couples. I did not know of any till about 4 years back. Now I know 3 couples (desi man, chinese woman) and they seem to be quite happy. Acutally, one of the guys told me that it is a great thing…conversation with the mom-in-law is one way
.
As a desi-female who is currently amidst a relationship with a white male, I can strongly object to this. My parents are by no means supportive of this union. They never have been nor will they ever be.
This love for desi/white couples is only when the man is desi, because traditionally he’s allowed the freedom to explore beyond South Asia.
It’s more readily accepted that he would “Westernize,” and to meet a white woman is seen as the ultimate validation. I have no quams about interracial couples (have been part of one)…but I do have problems with the imbalance between the acceptance of actions of desi men and women.
@P @Anita Oh c’mon ! Outsiders may find South Asian women “exotic”! But hairy Indian men ?? I cant understand how this works ??!!
Oh yes, I love this one. I’m a desi man and I used to covet white women. I badly wanted a white girlfriend because I thought it would be a good status symbol…until I actually managed to date a few of them. I expected them to be amazing and wonderful. It wasn’t quite what I expected.
Now I have an Asian Hmong girlfriend who I didn’t expect anything special but she turned out to actually be amazing and wonderful. This has cured me of my self-hating white-supremacist fantasies.
Somehow even though I was racist about dating, I didn’t care too much about the shade of skin color. I escaped the desi “fair is lovely” prejudice, maybe because I am dark as sin.
My point is that while it is all too common for desis (both male and female) to think white people would be the ideal partners, it’s feels ridiculous when you start thinking about how narrow-minded it is to judge someone by the color of his or her skin. I certainly don’t want anyone judging me in that way.
You are cool
Hmm… the like for desi/white couples can go a couple of ways. Broadly speaking, if it’s desi husband and white wife, then the Indian family will be more accepting than the white family. If it’s white husband and Indian wife, the Indian family will be more resistant. Every ethnic group is more restrictive in who their women marry.
Also, the looks matter. If the white wife is a girl next door type, the Indian aunties will be very welcoming and open-hearted. If the white wife is a striking beauty, then the Indian aunties will be cold and distant. A white husband (like all husbands) is judged primarily on income, and so long as he is not too fat, since Indians do not age well (type-2 diabetes and heart disease all out of proportion to our share of the population), they don’t want unhealthy mixed grandkids.
this is a bs…i know my parents would hate to see a brown person with a white person..and pretty much every other indian parents in kno would agree..so idk wth u got this from
As a desi, I resent other desis who marry white people or people outside of our race. We are one billion strong, dont tell me that there was no one desi good enough to marry. I dont know who writes this blog, but it is apparent that they do not know desis at all.
As a desi, I think this is an incredibly stupid comment. So people should only marry within their race? What an excellent idea! Love is colorblind. You might want to update your antiquated ideas.
@sv did I just hear you say “there are a billion vegetables, don’t tell me there is not one vegetable good enough to buy” ?
To Kaysov – Love this entry, and this whole blog, for that matter, but bad analogy with the vegetables.
To SV – More than enough of those billion are mating with each other to effectively propagate the race, thereby nullifying what I assume is your reason behind your need to be nosy and judgmental. It’s silly to pretend like only people from the same culture can connect with one another – we have more than enough exceptions to that assumption at this point. And don’t act like your narrow-minded opinions exemplify the entire desi population by saying that the people who write this blog don’t know desis at all. Clearly, it’s not like we all think alike, so it’s ridiculous to imply that your opinion on interracial marriage holds true for everyone.
To all – Sorry to get personal. I hate it when commentators do that.
@Nidhi thanks for liking the blog. I agree, the analogy sucks. I clearly did a poor job of translating a very Indian idiom.
call me when the divorce papers are filed =)
Dude, I moved to Ohio. My only options were white or white in desi’s skin. I chose the former. But, didn’t expect to–just happened. My parents were NOT happy at first–especially since I married a preacher’s son. But, they adore him and have adopted his family in true, over-communicative, smothering, loving desi-style (How can you NOT love our way?) And though it’s been new and different for my white family, they love my family, too. Albeit in a more reserved way.
In my hometown, Houston, the white boy/guju girl union is so common, no one even raises eyebrows when someone mentions ‘Anjli is marrying Bob’. A majority the guju women around my age 25-35 have married outside our community to whiteys–and a majority of (even the most progressive, forward thinking of the guys in our community) have chosen to have an arranged marriage with an ABCD (I hate that term) or gone abroad to seek a wife. A strange, unsettling trend. But…whatever floats your boat!
@At the blogger
“@P @Anita Oh c’mon ! Outsiders may find South Asian women “exotic”! But hairy Indian men ?? I cant understand how this works ??!! ”
It’s just like some Indian women find some dull pink lobsters attractive, who in absence of Indian or Asian girls talk only about “that tight Asian pussy.”
dating should not be based on colour . My only problem with desis/white couples is that generally from the people that I know they only wish to date white people because they deem “white people to be superior in some shape or form” especially blonde blue-eyed ones. It`s rather disgusting .
lol my mom is the complete opposite she would rather see me with a black / latino man over a white dude .
I’m Mexican married to an Indian guy (born and raised in India) and we are still always getting questions about it. 2 kids later, and 8 years of marriage, most Indian people we newly meet cannot fathom why he married a non-Indian. Even Indian satellite TV telemarketers cannot believe I’m his wife when I answer the phone because I don’t “sound” Indian. That kind of behavior is weird to me.
nice post. we have started a post on stuff girls do .. do visit us http://www.stuffgirlsdo.com/wordpress . our latest post is what girls do to look sexier!
My Gujarati husband is married to a Black woman! Imagine that?! Most Indians find us weird and avoid us…….as if I care.
Jasmin I second that…hubby to be is a Kerala Man and I am African American women…people ( black and Indian) see us together and you would swear they saw a ghost!
everything looks perfect except for the alimony part
Gujarati people look a bit like habesha/abesha people so I am not shocked.
Married to white woman for 20 years. It is hell. The only white woman who marries a Desi is one who cannot get her own kind. Desis give up a lot to marry a white person. They marry women who are not well educated or cultured. Here I am 20 years later with 2 kids, none of them going to Harvard. My wife simply reads and eats. I do everything else.
I know three other couples like mine and in all cases the white woman has huge mental problems. PTSD, sexual abuse, depression, agoraphobia, you name it
@amesh:
you are bang on target!!
We at
http://stuffeducatedblackpeopletalkabout.blogspot.com/
picked up where “Stuff Educated Black People” left off…
AND
WE have love for the Desi folks! Check us out and we shall add you to our blog roll.
LOL, self-loathing explains some of the marriages and definitely most of the perception. Marrying African, Latino and Asian Americans tend to be a lot less glamorous.
Do the math.
As a Desi woman married to a white man, some of the above comments really hit hard. First off all, I didn’t marry my blonde, blue-eyed husband because I thought he was ’superior’. I married him because I love him.
Secondly, maybe it’s a Cdn thing, but my family adores him. He makes a serious effort to learn everything he can about Indian culture, and he never scoffs or turns his nose down on my culture. My family has accepted him and his family into our crazy family, and my white family love me, albeit in a more sane way.
Thirdly, I am NOT an ABCD or a ‘coconut’. I am not confused about my desi-ness, nor am I ashamed of it. I love that I am Indian, and so does my husband.
So for all of those think I’m either desperate because I couldn’t be with ‘my own kind’, hate myself because I’m Indian, or aspire to some sort of superiority over Desi who did marry other Desis, I suggest you look at yourself first and examine why you look down on me for being in love with someone who isn’t Desi.
Hmm, to BUY or not to BUY, remains the question.
But hey, if self-loathing tightly packed inside “humanist” rationalizations and delusions become the reality you think you’re happy with, why not just BREED the Desi out of the system altogether in a couple of generations, right?
Exoticization, no matter how well it masquerades itself as “love”, is ultimately an unhealthy fetish taken too far. Someone always ends up paying a higher price.
Well said, Jasdeep! I’m also an Indian woman engaged to a white man. My fiancee is extremely interested in and accepting of my culture, understands that I am vegetarian and wants our future children to be the same, and has also traveled to India with me. He’s intelligent and caring, and not at all like those two-faced Indian men who turn into a different person when their parents aren’t looking. And as for divorces, they happen in every culture. Indian people in India might have fewer divorces, but domestic abuse and killing of wives/daughter-in-laws is more common there. Also, if you marry someone you choose for yourself, as opposed to someone who you are forced to choose, there are less chances of you having a divorce.
In most Indian families I know, if an Indian man marries a white woman families are okay with it. Not happy about it but at least okay with it. However it’s unacceptable for an Indian woman to do the same. Indian men can lust over white women knowing they will (sometimes with some convincing) be able to marry these women and still not be kicked out of their own families but that Indian women grow up knowing they will never have that option. I think love should be colorblind.
!!!LET US GET REAL !!! Desi girls in the West will ONLY date/marry White men. But on the other side, unfortunately, hardly 1% of the Desi men get White women. So the Desi men are the real losers. No wonder the Desi men are emasculated by the Western media and their own Desi women. Desi men will forever remain single or have to settle for the non-white, non-desi and non-asian ugly women like Black or Latino women (Again, the beautiful Black and Latino women dont fall for the Desi men).
To all the posters above:
Get a life you ugly bastards!
This isn’t true. Many families looks down upon this because they feel they cannot connect with people of other ethnicity. Also there is the possible loss of the Indian culture.
Jasmin and Lovey, same here. My hubby and I get the weirdest stares from a lot -but not all- desis. Some are downright mean and others curious like “why would you marry a black woman?” I don’t care though. I love him, he loves me, we respect each other and that’s that.
Wow. Great post, and very interesting to see the discussion it has generated. As long as relationships are based on mutual respect then they are a-ok whoever the stakeholders may be.
Jasmin, Lovey and Sharon – I am a desi woman married to an American man and incidentally he is black.
The reactions I get from Desis tend to be rather diverse so I can’t quite slot them in a majority bucket.
A recent incident has stuck with me for days. I was at a desi grocery store… basket full of dal, papad and pickle. The desi girl at the check out commends me for knowing a little something about Indian food and talks about how it will make a nice change from the usual. The exchange left me confused. As we walked out, my husband chuckled and pointed out that the girl didn’t realize I was desi. I was flabbergasted!
mpatel: Take a deep breath and remember that you are a really nice person. Finding someone to spend the rest of your life with is not a numbers game and nor is it a battle against, white men, black men, japanese men or men of any other ethnicity. It takes knowing and valuing yourself. It takes valuing and enjoying other human beings one gets to spend time with. Evaluate your own values and the framework through which you view the world more judiciously.
On a more generic note. British rule in India ended in 1947 which wasn’t all that long ago in the grand scheme of things. Indians haven’t gone through the rather painful process of examining how our past has shaped us and how we continue to enable the past in shaping us today. Many of us would prefer to skate over this little chapter titled The British Raj. We have a love-hate relationship with Eurocentric worldviews and values that often leaves us yo-yoing wildly between feeling superior and inferior to Europeans. The process has begun but we have a lot of ground to cover and it is bound to be a tad messy, not always dignified and it may trot along at its own pace.
Desi men married to a white woman WILL be rich or atleast well off.
Hi All,
Quite interesting to see so many posts on inter-race marriages.I agree with a lot of ladies out there married to non-Indian men and I agree that a lot of white men can be good or even beetr husband’s than what we Indian guys could be.
I have in my life dated white women from Europe and America and have also dated Indian Women.And honestly speaking,i didn’t feel any difference in it.All the women were women,ambitious yet caring, outgoing yet homely and above all those who respected me for who I am and who I had immense respect for.
I think the name of the game here is not color,it is respect.
[...] Sample this : “How can someone who only has a bachelors degree, not be from a lower caste and have a white girlfriend, when they just got laid-off [...]
I’m an Indian girl and have been in a relationship with a white guy for several years now. Everyone we know has been incredibly supportive and they all really like my boyfriend a lot.
Recently, however, I received a random harassing message through Facebook, accusing me of throwing away my culture and heritage by being involved with someone from a different culture. I was outraged. I have always had such pride in the fact that Indian people are so tolerant of differences – after all, surely by sharing our culture with other people, we give ourselves the opportunity to grow more?
Several people have commented here that it is acceptable for a brown guy to date/marry a white girl, but that the reverse is deemed inappropriate. Why is it that as a community we are so narrowminded? Backwards thinking like this is what will stagnate us, as a people. Tragic.
I am an indian girl, happily married to… yes, handsome white, blond, blue eye american man, for last ten years. I hate indian man. ABCD or otherwise. Numerous reasons: Most of them are self-centered jerks, arrogant, have no respect for there partner, knows nothing about love, love mama more than wife, SUCKS in bed.. this is a big one, have small penises, have stinking balls, too hairy, too smelly, want wives to feed fat bellies of there’s with food at all times, non-emotional bastards, disrespect there wives and treat them like shit. Yes, i am talking from experience. I did date few indian men, and they all sucked. All very educated and some were doctors but ALL of them big time jerks in my opinion. Indian men wanna be macho in front of women, yet you will never find them in army, a cop, in FBI or in any dangerous professions, because deep down they all are real pussy’s!!!!!
First of all hotter the aishwarya I highly doubt that you are. Secondly, you are a racist and I have an American girlfriend who said that my penis is a good size. I’ll have you know that I measured and its 4 inches and close to 6 when I’m erect and trust me I know how to work it just not too loud or my mom might hear.
hey ‘better than aishwarya’,get your english checked,its pathetic..how did you even reach the shores of America with such english.The bloggers need to write something on your language skills.
And you are married to a white guy? He sure must be really dumb to fall for you or wants an experience of a village f*** dating you.I’m sure he’ll be bragging about his ‘exotic’ flings with his friends.Yea thats right,thats what they say when they have laid an Indian Girl-Exotic(I feel Indian women are far from exotic!)
Grow up and stop talking absolute nonsense on these forums.
“Better than Aishwarya”, stop talking about your dad like that. or if you insist on continuing with your ignorant tirade, fix your grammar.
“better than shahrukh”, TMI.
“Proudly Gay”, hahaha that was kinda mean, but sooo funny
Did you come to America, to get your cock suck by under-age boys? My English language is fine. Maybe, you should get some language classes, so they can teach you when to capitalize words and use spaces. I am married to very successful neuro-surgeon. Sorry, truth hurts. But that’s how I feel regarding Indian men. “karuna”, what kind of name is that? My dad is Irish!!!!!!!!!
‘Hotter than aishwarya’ is a fat, old desi guy.
Hey ‘Hotter than Ass-warya”,
Only a neuro surgeon can handle you!!! Probably he’s your shrink and you mistake him to be your husband..It happens when you are usually ugly,desperate and from a village in India.You tend to start looking at every white trash as your potential husband..I pity you..!!! You need help..
Also,you are so dumb that your sentences and train of thought make no sense…’My dad is Irish”—what the f*** is that and how is related to Karuna’s reply…??
You are a big huge blob on the rim of my toilet seat–you know what that means in simple english?–(for you rignorant head,lemme help ya)–It means you are nothing short of a huge,black piece of hanging shi* on the rim of my toilet seat..
Hey take no offence,this is how we americans insult people like you(not indians in general,but dumb people like you!!)…
Cheers..
hahahaha i really like Silly’s comment :]
hotter than aishwarya,
you should relax. take it easy. try not to have an aneurysm while you hate on your own race.
oh, and Karuna means compassion in Sanskrit, you dipshit. What’s your name? Mary Beth?
Hey, “Abercrombie and Fitch”,
Why are you so angry? I guess, I would be angry too, if my mother gave birth to a hijada and gave it away for an adoption. Go on…. Go suck some desi dicks, maybe it will make your day. Cheers to you too, GIRLFRIEND!
Desi women don’t want us
White women don’t want us
Black women don’t want us
Latino women don’t want us
Asian women don’t want us
Ugly women may wants us (as a last resort)
Unless we have lots of money, get rid of our body hair, get lipo and say “yes” to everything.
So, who wants desi men with regular jobs and average paychecks?
Nobody!
So where do we go?
Do we just give up on the American dream, pursue money with hopes that one day we’ll make it and then at the age of 40 find ourselves single, lonely and depressed?
Great, where do I sign up for this fabulous life in the country known as America!
I really appreciate American women of all races and diverse cultures for creating this wonderful homogeneous world of hate and xenophobia for regular normal desi guys like me, where the only thing that matters and will ever make a difference in how you feel about us is our looks and how much money we can make for you.
What’s in it for me? Right ladies?
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Your collective contribution to humanity is truly appreciated.
Hey ‘Hotter than Ass-warya”,
‘Hijada’–Whats That? I’m sure you dont know enough english to translate that…back to my very first point..You uneducated village slu*.
Also,lets talk about how many fathers you have?
I hope one of them have not been taken by me..
I’m a desi girl married to an indonesian guy. All that matters is if you get along and are happy- that’s it.
I also find desi guys quite attractive. They are hotter than whites most of the time and definitely way hotter than blonde/ blue eyed white males.
The only time I ever see a Desi person with someone of a different ethnic background, it’s a Desi guy with a White girl. And pretty much every Desi guy I’ve talked to thinks White girls are hot. My guess is that some of that might be because a pretty White girl looks more like the Indian celebrities than any Desi girl does because the Indian celebrities get surgery, contacts, dye their hair, etc. to look like White girls.
Are you kidding me Anon… White/American girls don’t even take a second look at an Indian Guy.
Its different that every desi who lands first time in an american airport,thinks that all the white girls of america are waiting to bed him.Only after many trips to the clubs(getting rejected) and then to the gym(getiing rejected again), does one desi finally end up in his first ’strip club’. Thats the closest a desi guy comes to a white gal and thereafter feels he has ‘conquered’ the white race altogether!! Nah–Not happening.
Desi guys should look for more of the Ethiopian/Sub Saharan race to find their ideal match,just look around–You guys are short(both verticlly and ‘horizontally’),Bald early,got a truck fitted up your belly,pathetic sense of dressing–reminds me of the pgymies…Well,there you go-You Desi guys just found ur future wives…!!! Holla…!!
I would have to disagree Proudly Gay. If you came to the US thinking that ALL white girls – or even most of them – are waiting to “bed” Indian guys, you made a fundamental mistake in thinking that “white girls” is a single unified uniform group. I am a desi guy, and I have dated a couple of white girls, and they are as different from each other as Indian girls are. Each of them is an individual, with feelings and emotions, intelligent, ambitious, kind, loving, humorous, strong, vulnerable, and unique – JUST like Indian girls. And clearly they DO go out with Indian guys, who don’t make a huge amount of money
.
Hotter than Aishwarya (read Ugly Betty),
If you want to date non-indian men, that is your choice. You don’t have to attack us indian men on an online forum to justify your choices. I think you have some serious mental malfunction here. Even if you don’t want to date indian men, you dont need to hate them. It only makes me question your “hotness”. Most people who try to be uppity on online forums have an underlying inferiority complex. Maybe most indian men as well as non-indian men didn’t find you attractive enough and rejected you. You know what they say “Don’t hate the playa hate the game”.
This should end the debate on who has the smallest cocks in the world.. The white man oficially has the world’s smallest penis. Here is the link to the smallest penis contest.. All tiny white men.
http://vodpod.com/watch/1180084-small-penis-contest
Proudly Gay,
I’m an indian man and I have no problems getting any kind of women. I don’t have to go to clubs/gyms to pick up women and don’t like spending too much money on strip clubs either. Maybe you should stop being a FLAMIN-GAY and start sucking a long one
This is bullshit,
Maybe if you lose your whining attitude, you may have some luck in the ladies department. Chasing money doesn’t mean you will get girls. You will need to develop skills and can come only through trying. Shut down your computer, Lose your fear of failure and get a life. MORAN!
thats because white chicks are fucking hot
proudly gay, what you’re talking about only applies to fobs. lots of white girls like desi guys as long as they aren’t short or have the accent. esp. desis with game, fucking forget about it. my gf is white and shes hot as fuck.
I get mixed feelings reading threads like these- I’m a white woman who has had feelings for a long time for an Indian man I met in college- also one of my best friends. I know he’s felt the same way for quite some time, however.. every family is different, but I know his is very disapproving of anything more than friendship happening between us and this is so hurtful. It’s caused a bit of a rift between us, because we know things can only go so far. From what I’m reading, it seems that this sort of union would be looked upon more favorably (white woman/indian man) rather than vice-versa, but this does not seem the case. Is there any hope? I’d like to hear from both sides-
Thanks!
Hey Eol,
I’ve been dating an indian guy for the past 9 months and while I’ve yet to meet his parents, I have met his sister and brother-in-law. At first, they seemed kinda nice. It was only the day after that I was told his sister asked him to finish with me because it was hurting his parents…
It was the same for me as it is for you, from when we first met, his parents didn’t want anything more to happen between us. They didn’t even want us to be friends. He made the first step to creating the relationship between us, and the backlash he had to deal with afterwards was horrible. The stuff his family said about me (without even meeting me) was awful and some of it was racist.
I think it must be hard for him to take that first step into becoming more with you, even more so if he is the only boy or the youngest in the family (mine is both), but if he is serious about you two, then he should just tell his family that he’s old enough to make his decisions and his own mistakes.
I know every family is different, but they’ll have to come to terms with it eventually. Keep your chin up. Hope everything works out for you both.
hey eol,
you in love with an Indian guy?? hahaha –no wonder your screen name sounds more like End Of Life (eol)…
cheers
hey Karthik,
‘no problems in getting any kinda woman huh’—well well well,you really must be quite a catch or THINK you are quite a catch–No issues–Many Indian guys think tht way once they get their outsourcing degree in the US and get a job in ‘New Y’a'rk’(read New York for us educated Americans!)..well congrats on your insomnia…
Also,you Indians shouldn’t be advising us on ’sucking’.You guys suck upto anything or anyone to get your paltry job done,be it the rickshaw puller or the taxi cab driver–you guys really really know how to ’suck’(pun intended–in case you know the meaning of a pun(i doubt it!!!))
Why take this all so seriously? It’s intended to be lighthearted and funny. It’s a joke blog, guys. It’s not fact.
I didn’t say I’m a catch. I just said I have no problems finding women. You are not very bright are ya. Stop assuming things.
And BTW, I’m only Indian by ethnicity not nationality. I’m an American by birth you ignorant piece of shit. And its not like white and black people don’t kiss ass to get ahead. As far as I know, white guys are the biggest ass-kissers in the corporate world. I guess no man wants you and since you are not “getting it”, you are losing your mind. Get help!
Yea Right Karthik,everyone on this blog should already be aware of your entire family tree and be on the know how of your crappy ancestral history..Are you Kidding Me!!!
You on one hand proudly state that you are Indian(see ur previous post) and shortly thereafetr disctance urself from being called tht and confidently state ur’e an ‘American by Birth’(We know How guys like u fool urselves)!!
I too accept one mistake though–its not you then ,who came to this country as a rickshaw puller,it was your old man…well ask him wht he did to get some white pus** when he first came in,I;m sure he didn’t get any,thats why he married ur mom…(You Loser SOB)!!
Have any of you been told you’ll have zebra-striped children? We heard that during our wedding from my grandmother’s 80 year old sister. She then corrected herself by saying “Brown zebras”. I thought it was rather cute.
PG,
If you are not aware of my ancestral history, why make assumptions in the first place. Kinda stupid don’t you think.
Why shouldn’t I call myself American and Indian at the same time. I’m after all Indian-American. Italian-Americans and Irish-Americans call themselves Italian and Irish sometimes. Do you think they are fooling themselves.
What is with you and your hatred for Indians. Did some Indian guy reject your advances. What is with the rickshaw puller, cabbie comments. Are you saying that white and black Americans do not drive cabs. Gimme a break.
If you don’t like Indians why even come here and post racist and xenophobic comments. Why don’t you join the KKK. I’m sure they will honor gay rights…LOL.
Hey KarTick,
Nobody likes you guys….Go back to your stink holes in India and call yourselves whatevery you want.
Talking about the KKK, Be lucky they have not got hold of you or your pop,trust me they’ll skin ya guys before they get to me.
I’m of German Ancestory,but I don’t go about saying I’m German-American,I’m simply American and proud to be one. You SOB’s just can’t let go of your bullshit Indian excess baggage can you???!!!
[...] my search for some good blogs to read, I came upon Stuff Desi/Brown People Like, and specifically this post on desi and white marriages. Listen, if you’re looking for a good reason to cheat on your diet, read through the comment [...]
wow. This was a very interesting post for me to read. I am half Asian Indian and Half Black (Dad is Indian, Mum is black), and I thought it was interesting to hear this point of view in terms of interracial dating since I come from a background where my Indian grandparents will have nothing to do with me or my siblings because we are half black. But anywho, even though I am not a full blood Indian, I think I have full rights to say that I think Indian people need to get out of this whole “color” thing. I can respect any person of any race if they want to marry within their race for cultural purposes, but to say that you would not date or marry a person of another ethnicity because of xyz is ignorant. We are all the same. It is not like marrying or dating another species (gosh!).
I was also reading some of the comments above and several alluded to the fact that most Desi parents would throw a hissy if their child brought a girl of another ethnicity home, but this is not always true. I am concious of the fact that a lot of parents think that is a no no, but I have several desi mates who are in serious relationships with people outside of their race and their parents embrace their choice!
I for one am a black/indian gal who has been dating an Indian man for about 1 year now, and his parents like me very much. Moreover, I think that some Desi families realize (especially if they live in the U.S.) that their kids will have a romantic relationship with a person of another race (because this country is so ethnically diverse), moreover, color should not matter, it only matters if you are in love and if you are happy.
Sad to see all the racism and negative generalizations here. Every individual is different just as each couple’s relationship differs from the next. I am an educated American woman of Euro-Irish descent, 5′11, blonde, blue eyed, and fair complected, in a loving and committed relationship with a sophisticated and down to earth, 6′2, desi man from Delhi living in the states for a number of years. The funny part?? I act more asian, and he more white than I! I believe it is very narrow-minded of those here claiming that desi men are arrogant or uncaring of their partners needs, as mine is emotionally sensitive and wonderful to me…or that they just want white women as a status symbol; also that white women ‘resort’ to desi men when they cant find one of their own race who wants them, or that they do so because they have ‘mental problems’. What is it with the perception that lighter skinned people are somehow better than tanner ones…this persists even in India to this day!! Ridiculous!! The reason we are together (besides being physically attracted to each other of course ^_^) is because we get along so well, have given time to develop a great friendship as the core of our relationship, and because we value and respect each other. We realize how important it is to not criticize, but to compromise and learn from each others culture, because we are not bound by it, just as we are not bound by the uniquely contrasting colors of our skin.
Hey Deustchbag,
You dont have the right to tell me or anyone to “go back”. Why don’t you go back to germany you fag. I don’t really give a fuck whether someone likes me or not. I’m here to live my life. not to go out of my way to please cunts like you.
I see how you carefully avoided my question. Why do you not ask the Italian/Irish Americans who call themselves Italians/Irish to go back. Your hate here has more to do with skin color doesn’t it you racist bastard. if you got so much of hate for Indians, why do you still hang around an Indian website. Do you even have an ounce of self-esteem.
If the KKK or anyone tries to get to me, they will get a bullet in their fucking heads. Do you really think if they do manage to kill me, they will somehow leave you alone. Oh i get it. you probably will run back to your closet like a coward right. listen good you fag….your dad is a fag and your mother is a two dollar whore…..if you dont like darkies in America go back to the snow white land where you belong.
Karthik babua,
Kyon angrez par gussa ho rahe ho bhai… Jaane bhi do yaaron..
Yeh Kaali Kalli Aankhen,Gore Gore Gaal(Those Black eyes,those white cheeks)–song from popular Bollywood Hindi movie Baazigar!!
Why isn’t it –Yeh Gore Gore Aankhen,Kaale Kaale Gaal(Those cataract ridden eyes and black cheeks!!)
German sahi bol raha hai,we Indians are bloody obsessed with white!!!
Jai Ram ji ki
Bihari Babu
Mast rahoo yaaron:-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jm1r7iUVhuI
Im a white girl in love with an indian man. We are both educated and hope to earn good money in future. Until now we have the most harmonious relationship ever. Seeing other couples fight, we wonder why we never do that. I think, that is because we LISTEN to each other. Thats the secret.
Short off topic – I am pretty, I dont have any problems finding guys of my skin colour. and i dont have mental problems. and i am active, have good friends and studying to be a surgeon.
I was thinking for the last week for the disadvantages of us as a couple – and couldnt find any! We are used to different food – meaning we can have diverse dishes on our table. I think a man is the one who needs to be taken care of – he thinks its girls who need attention to the rest of their life. we both want 3 kids. He wants to support his parents – meaning he wont be against me supporting my own mom, which is important for me.
The only problem I see is other people. We have to chose a country to live and love in. US comes into a question,as I thought people there being less racists then in europe. Apparently, its not 100% so.
What to do…
I’d like to reiterate that a desi girl walking hand in hand with a white guy is frowned upon, mostly by older desis
At times I wonder if its a frown out of jealousy or simply contempt? And why is a desi guy walking with a white girl looked at, with awe?! But then considering the strong patriarchal roots that we desis have it is no big surprise.
The glances my bf gets when he accompanies me to the Indian grocery store are very *very* disturbing.
Hilarious blog though. Do try to post something about desis and small talk
And I really dont think that desi guys are any less attractive (in fact they are much more closer to being ‘real’ due to their physical appearance).
Most people who are complaining here are sad geeks who spend most of their time in front of their computers, work so much that they forget the norms of casual social interaction (their idea of fun/weekend is getting drunk), become heavy smokers, spend no time to workout and hence get grossly out of shape (I’ve overheard some desi joke about some guy’s paunch and saying he was pregnant for over 3 months! )
It is so pathetic and sad, that it is beyond funny. And I bet there are exact white equivalent of such desi men too.
The intrinsic male chuvanist attitude of desi men doesn’t bother desi girls as much since they are from a similar upbringing.
Any generalisation is futile.
^^^
“The intrinsic male chuvanist attitude of desi men”
“Any generalisation is futile.”
Talk about contradicting yourself.
Can’t we all just love one another? So many factors make up our preferences in a mate, influence of how we were raised being a major contributor. I am a white woman that has lived all over the world amongst many different cultures and religions, and would love to find a Desi man that wasn’t scared to death to introduce me to his family. Your family will (or should) love you regardless of who you choose to love.
Hopefully the prejudice will be forgotten in the generations to come.
Dear Dawn Houston,
Please give me ur #?
As Swami Vivekananda said,
One Hindu Less is One Enemy more
Desi outmarriages cause the kids to be raised as christians
It is the fault of the parents for not educating their kids about the importance of marrying within the religion
Hindu men make twice the money that white men make
and one would think that Desi women had the sense to look at earnings potential instead of ‘falling in love’ with non-Desi men
Regarding white women
I agree strip clubs are the way to go to satisfy your curiosity
Remember,
Non-Desi is Non-Vegetarian, Non-Hindu, Non-Virgin
Hindu men would be wiser to trade their green card for a girl from India who looks pretty and ages more slowly,
unlike white women who get wrinkled skin by 30 and lose their looks
I’m Polish living in UK,and I find Desi girls WAY more attractive
than our blonde East European girls;) Desi lads seem to like them gals here and I see lot of Polish and Lithuanian girls
datin with ‘em. But them are mostly Pakistani, and Sikh.
On the other hand, I very rarely see a White/Black/Chinese man with a Desi girl.
Opposite 2 what happens in States, it seems 2 me after reading through the posts?
Peace 4 All.